


love you in the in betweens.

by commonemergency



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, New Year's Eve Eve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 04:24:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13205913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commonemergency/pseuds/commonemergency
Summary: The space between Christmas and New Years is like a black hole sometimes, but he’s fighting his way out of it.Or Dan hasn't tweeted because this is his hibernating time before New Year's Eve.





	love you in the in betweens.

**Author's Note:**

> as i said in my ficmas, i wasn't sure if i was writing until the new year, but it's snowing, and i'm stuck indoors on new years eve, eve (until i find something to do or brave layering up to go outside) i decided to write this because sometimes holidays are hard and new years eve is emotional. 
> 
> happy new year's eve, everyone. 
> 
> see you in the new year. <3

There’s a place where Dan and Phil meet, right in the middle, with lazy days. When they haven’t seen the sun because the blinds are closed, and the days feel much longer. The only real social interaction is virtual or by Phil getting the food from the delivery man with his glasses and hair pushed back. These are the kind of days that Dan needs after the holidays. It’s the only time when he feels like he doesn’t have to be online, (if to just to read), and sleep all day against Phil, on Phil, beneath Phil. It’s his form of comfort. Some days, after he gets home from his family, he just needs to know that Phil is there and that he isn’t leaving and that they can sit in the quiet with light tapping against their keyboards and phones. 

This was one of those days. Dan had made pancakes earlier because he wanted to do something, but it was too cold to go outside and Phil had looked at pancake toppings on Pinterest ( _the ones with bananas on top and chocolate chips in the middle!_ , Phil had exclaimed earlier) and Dan decided that it seemed like a fun thing to do. They had New Years Eve coming up, he’d have to be social then. Today belonged to them and he planned on stretching that for as long as he could. Except, he fell asleep. 

It’s past five in the afternoon and Dan had woken up from a nap, he had checked his twitter to see Phil talking to people and he gets up from their bed to the other room and out to the couch, plopping down next to Phil. He’s out of it, and he slept half the day away when he could have been playing a video game or something. He claims that he was productive earlier, but really that weird dark cloud seemed to be looming over him. It came at the worst of times and lasted days. He hoped that the universe would show some late Christmas miracle and the feeling would disappear by tomorrow. New Years Eve was always an emotional holiday for Dan, though he’d never admit it. 

New Years was a beginning and ending to many things, and resolutions were only important if people made them important but it was still the start to something, and he was still figuring out what that something was. 

Phil combs his hands through Dan’s hair and talks about how it’s snowing everywhere else except for here. _It’s just raining_. Dan finds it calming. He gets up and peeks out the windows, the rest of the world is out there and they’ve been in hiding. He presses his fingers against the cool of the glass and reminds himself that this is not cabin fever, he’ll be fine when he gets the chance to go on a walk. He doesn’t know why he deprives himself sometimes other that he does. 

The space between Christmas and New Years is like a black hole sometimes, but he’s fighting his way out of it. 

Phil stands behind him, wrapping his arms around him as they watch the light rainfall. Phil kisses his neck because it’s his favourite spot to kiss, and tells him that this won’t last forever. Tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning.

He knows it won’t last forever, but the reassurance is calming.

They watch the new DVD’s Phil got for Christmas over leftovers (and promised desserts after). Dan laughs at the funny parts and cries at the parts that doesn’t make sense to cry at, but he does anyway. He had learned a long time ago to never feel guilty for the way that he felt things. Especially on days like today where it doesn’t make sense to feel this way but he does. 

Phil’s promises are silent but loud. He tangles their fingers together in the space between them on the couch. Dan wipes his eyes with his free hand and looks down at the space that’s now joined, and it’s warm hands and sweet smiles when he looks up at Phil staring at him. The world may seem like it’s going by fast, _too fast for him to breathe_ , but this one moment feels like a lifetime; like they’re in a little snowglobe, a perfect tiny world for one single moment. He remembers that this is what being in love feels like, and the tightening in his chest subsides for a while.

Dan rests against Phil again, trying to take all of his warmth, and Phil runs his hands through Dan’s hair, massaging his scalp and rubs his shoulders, caressing whatever skin that he can find. Phil tells him about his childhood, during the times when he felt impossible, and how there was a road trip that he had taken with his family, and he couldn’t remember why he was crying, but he was, and his mother had reached her hand out so he could hold it, and he felt better immediately because of that. Phil isn’t correlating it verbally with Dan, but he understands it because they’re doing it. 

When one movie ends, another begins, one that they’ve seen before, it’s a comfort movie, they know all the lines and quote it to each other in random intervals. 

This is how their nights play out, one movie after another, with the rain falling, (and Phil hoping for a thunderstorm that won’t happen, but he can dream), with more ice cream, and more hot chocolate, with warm blankets, and a hand to hold. Dan doesn’t think about tomorrow and what social interactions it may bring, but he holds on today, for as long as he can. 

The clouds and the fog that had rolled in will inevitably roll back out from where they came. 

It’s not a new day, or a new year yet, but it was coming. 

Dan jokes that it’ll be the first day since Christmas that he’ll know the date. 

_At least we have that going for us_ , Phil agrees with a small laugh, reaching out for Dan again, like he always does.

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos appreciated! 
> 
> talk to me on tumblr/twitter: **@nihilismdan.**


End file.
